~Dreams from Ashes~

Wed, 08 Feb 2006 05:35:26 GMT

so I'm in bed on my new palm pilot. I like it.

[Poem] Let them Play.

Wed, 01 Feb 2006 05:06:14 GMT

Let them play.

Tender strings upon hearts torn, playing soft melodies of lilac days captured within a haze of misty tranquility,
Bearing away the stones of fate cast so carelessly upon the tables of his soul in a gesture of noncommittal love.
Light strands of notes dancing upon the tattered flesh of one so young, playing upon the blood-soaked remnants of what he once was.

Let them play.

Entrapped within a timeless waltz, battling to and fro along those planes of his innermost, dueling without words,
To the steady rhythm of song, unnamed tune a lullaby for the dread, dark nights floundering away into nothing but shadows.
Percussion tattooing along the surface of his heart, forcing the gashes to open into the unyielding light of day.

Let them play.

Revealed bloodied and fallen from dreams, eternal music rubbing into the wounds of yesterday, relishing in melancholy,
Wrought with riddles, symphony of tormenting sweet melodies writhing about in the cavity of all that he is.
Smile erased in moments of passion long since dead, resurrected once more against the backdrop of a voice, almost silent and forgotten, a single note caught along the winds of the past, descended into his being as an eternal orchestra, forever playing, forever dancing.

Let them play.

We-Cand

Mon, 14 Nov 2005 04:57:28 GMT

Will update about weekend at some point. Lot-O-driving.

Fighting through glass, cutting and marring flesh it becomes fragmenting pain,
blossoming and falling into nothing,
As a flower without sun in the dead of winter,
Gripped in iciness befitting the heat of his heart.

Searching for the peace, grasping the thorn made rope.
Rescuing the helpless, painting the walls,
Crimson staining, wavering, watching and always seeking
That long thread, that hope made manifest in eyes
Lost in time, clasped in mortality created from the
Broken shards of her life.

Aching peace to fulfill the skies, angels tears
Falling, freezing, riddling soft flesh in soft splattered
Patterns of love and confusion.
Mocking laughter, the lullaby to rock him to sleep
Night after night as crows call to him,
Welcoming home the lost boy after his time away.

Open arms beckoning with promise of release,
Sweet and swift heralded on silence and twilight,
Smiling to greet the road weary traveler
The key to open within the chest on which his death bed lies
In soft comfort, sheets pulled back,
Inviting, warmth in cold stillness to hold
Now, forever, a dance in falling leaves through autumns midnight hours,
Only to wake forever screaming in that icy river
Following its course winding within and without.

A snake without fangs, drowning and drenching
The fiber of his reality, in the absence of light,
Now, forever, falling, dancing, sleeping
Peace locked in slumber never found
But he dreams.

^_^

Sat, 12 Nov 2005 00:02:33 GMT

Happy birthday, Kisa.

Findin freedom @ 80mph.

Fri, 11 Nov 2005 04:23:06 GMT

Ever read lyrics while driving down the road?

"20 Going On..."

Tired at 20 years old
Memory collecting before her time
Recall the old stomping ground
I see a tear welling up in her eye

No, you can't cheat time, don't let that control your life
Hold your breath, close your eyes, just jump in, the water's fine

These pleas fall on deaf ears
Ears that were once tuned to truth
A dated, washed up old man
Has seen it all, nothing else for him to do

No, you can't cheat time, don't let that control your life
Goes over your head, you look over your shoulder
When you turn back you're that much older

It slips away
Be what you're becoming
It slips away
And not who you were
It slips away
Grab hold of the here and now while you still have the chance

So are you giving up now?
As for adventures you've had your fill
Who says you're over the hill?
I think it was you and you know very well

You're holding yourself back
(Turn your face to the day)
When you could be doing anything
(Don't just dig your own grave)
When will you trust yourself
(Take with you what you learn)
The same as I do
(Be yourself, not who you were)

I want to see you use your capabilities
Build me an ocean then destroy it with your eyes

My favorite part bolded, of course.

Decisions.

Thu, 10 Nov 2005 05:38:09 GMT

So I think I've made them. I think I'm going to go, 85% sure. This is a good job, and can lead to a lot of sucess in the future. I don't want some things, but.. it's so confusing. It feels like my heart and my soul are being ripped into two seperate halves, at times like I'm loosing my mind. Am I? There's no one to talk to, no one to listen, I look around and All i see is empty.

It's sad, what I've become. Used to I was a station of help, of advice, yet now at this moment I can help no one, for I myself can find none. Perhaps more angst later, perhaps not.

And yet, as I fall to sleep at night, I wonder if this one will be the night that the pycho comes. I mean, for the first time in my life, I think that I may very well die in this town. It's gone from a knife to a gun. It takes a lot less nerve to pull a trigger than it does to take a swing.

Late night

Thu, 10 Nov 2005 05:12:21 GMT

How can this tearing be
When all I want to feel is love
The confusing reigning in my heart
Shattering my soul again
And again
I try to speak of us
To feel it here within
But all I get is silence
And a silly little grin
The mask I put on
This smile that falls in line
Is all you wish to see
Not the needles digging in
This chasm that I feel
Opening in my chest
The emptiness that entombs me
Wrapping my feelings, my flesh

And yet I nod, I smile
I take your hand and squeeze
Speaking of the little things
Not those of which I need
To spare you just a moment
The pain piercing my side

To smile, to feel
To hope, to hide.

Le Memories

Tue, 08 Nov 2005 05:13:50 GMT

Something I wrote a long time ago:

And to you, My Key
(2003-12-17, 2003-12-17 18:29:29.245882-08)

Can you hear it, this sound, not of my own but created just for this
moment, reminding me so much of you. Your eyes flash in my mind, and I
try, I try to think of something else, but your smile is there,
washing me in its beauty. My heart beats faster and I can't think
straight; what is it I was doing?

Is that you I see, your face swimming before my vision? I reach out
wanting to hold you, and I do. You are there, here, inside of my body
and a part of my soul. Is this why you plague my thoughts with wishes
of you? Is this why I see starlight at noon?

Could you truly be here? I turn, and there you are, shyly smiling,
trying to hide your eyes, causing me to grin. You turn from me in
sudden self-consciousness, but I am there, arms wrapping around your
body, giving you of my safety, my love.

Do you feel that? The soft tickle of my breath against the skin of
your neck as I exhale, then breath of you once more, my oxygen. Was
that a shiver? My arms, they tighten about you ever so gently,
conveying your shiver to my heart and locking it there for all time as
a part of you, part of me.

Could you tell? When my lips pressed against your flesh and tasted of
your scent. Was that a soft sigh I heard escape your mouth at my
touch, filling my senses and mind with even more of you? Did you just
lean closer into me; your body sinking into mine slowly and gently, my
heart rapidly fluttering against your back?

Tell me that was you, the hands that rested on my arms and squeezed
lightly, and the fingers that caressed against my skin. If it wasn't
you, then my life is empty, so please, tell me it was your body
pressed against mine; shuddering and yearning to be with me, for I
know it was my own soul crying out for you.

Please let the voice that said my name be yours, the soft words that
blessed the air to be heard, let it be you. It was your name that was
placed against my lips, against your skin. The gentle moan that
vibrated my throat was only yours, for you only, created by my heart,
to your flesh, and into your soul.

May I claim this love that cleanses me, for my own, from your heart to
mine, conveyed by your lips against this unworthy man's? Will you let
me stay, this way, for all of time, your love locked away deep within;
a flower eternally blooming in the darkness inside, with only your
light to kiss it.

For only one can open this lock, with a key only you may possess. From
now, till tomorrow, and always; To you, my key.

Stolen from Feli.

Mon, 07 Nov 2005 04:46:11 GMT

If you read this, if your eyes are passing over this right now, even if we don't speak often, please post a comment with a memory of you and me. It can be anything you want, either good or bad.

When you're finished, post this little paragraph on your blog and be surprised (or mortified) about what people remember about you

And I'm moving to New Orleans. I think.

((And on a side-note, chatting with Jen, oh happy times. :D ))

At a loss.

Thu, 03 Nov 2005 01:48:13 GMT

Hello. My name is Jace, or Ray, or whatever.

I'm at a loss. I have a pretty amazing job op down in new orleans... but not sure if I should take it. Here are the perks:

Start out salary of 35k a year with a nice raise after 90 days
House to live in, rent free
Truck to drive, Gas included
Guaranteed job for a year, longer after that if I chose to move to Dallas or another job comes open in this area.
People to boss around, i.e contractors
Benefits
Retirement if I choose to stay with them
Paid training

The cons...
Relationship

But... I have to plan for a future right..? I mean I can't stay where I am, making 24k a year in this small town..right?

Oh, the job is that of a mold inspector. Air samples, ground, walls..etc. In New Orleans..>>

GRR

Fri, 09 Sep 2005 23:37:42 GMT

It appears that the guy I was going to be renting from doesn't like paying his mortgage, so I have no house to move into now.

Rawr~

Thu, 08 Sep 2005 18:52:22 GMT

Just dropped mary off and now I'm at the library, wasting the last few minutes of my lunch break. Moving into my house is sorta on hold since they can't turn my power on until the 15th due to the hurricane, and I'm going to be gone ALL next week for my last week of classes. God that sucks. Still going to move most of my stuff in and do as much as I can. Been writing a lot lately. That's good, yes?

:yawns:

Sun, 28 Aug 2005 03:34:17 GMT

So it's been a long day.. went with mary and watched 'The Brother's Grimm'... it was ok. Heath could have had a better part or played it better in my opinion...>> But it was ok. Hit Target earlier and to my great joy found... BEAN BAGS.... :D Yea, that's kinda retarded, but I've loved bean bags since I could say the word. Priced some entertainment centers, but I can wait on those. My soon-to-be housemate called today and said he's moving in for sure... His name is Jamin, a little younger than me, but should be ok. It's a four bedroom house so we arn't in close proximity.

And now sleep calls, and the peanut butter chex mix.

Last call, all stops.

Mon, 11 Jul 2005 23:13:48 GMT

So I've had this journal for a while, and as my jaceknight journal, this one has come to an end for now. Just things and stuff and whatnot and all that.

So, I rarely post, but from now on when I do it will be in http://www.livejournal.com/users/ayji/.

If you want to add it, go ahead and I'll add you as well. If you don't, then well.. don't.

Meh..

Mon, 25 Apr 2005 18:39:05 GMT

I don't want to be patient..

Hello

Mon, 14 Feb 2005 17:51:00 GMT

Meet Nioko, my wolf.

Annnnnd....
..
..........

Happy Valentines Day hon. :)

:D

Sat, 22 Jan 2005 21:31:51 GMT

The Great LiveJournal
Outage of 2005

During the outage I started a doomsday cult.

What did you do?

Brought to you by geek-foo

>>>><><FSAFHAJ

Thu, 02 Dec 2004 02:54:38 GMT

I..Have...DSL>..>>FWSKLFLHAKNH

Baddum.

Fri, 26 Nov 2004 04:19:11 GMT

So, I have a new project. It's a car. A nice car. No it doesn't look nice now, but you have to see it's potential, fuckos.

This is the front...durr...

Ok... so I need some opinions as to what color I should repaint her.. everyone says no to black...;.;. Suggestions? And should I repaint GT on her, or just leave it off? And should I get a rear spoiler? Racing steering wheel or normal? Come on people, help me here.

Oh, and I should have DSL next week.

Schwabang >:-)

Sat, 20 Nov 2004 13:44:14 GMT

1. Tell me one thing you love about me.
2. Tell me two things you love about yourself. This one I'm particularly interested in, so make it good. I mean it. No self-deprication allowed!
3. Do this in your journal so I can tell you what I love about YOU - and if you've already done it, tell me so, so that I can go back and give you some hot lovin'.

P.S. I require no one to do this..

;.;

Wed, 17 Nov 2004 03:31:25 GMT

Four fingers on my right hand are burned and blistered. Bandages suck. And thy hurt.

Once more, only me.

Sun, 14 Nov 2004 06:42:51 GMT

Rose Of Sharyn

Numb and broken, here I stand alone
Wondering what were the last words I said to you
Hoping, praying that I'll find a way to turn back time
Can I turn back time?

What would I give to behold
The smile, the face of love?
You never left me
The rising sun will always speak your name

Numb and broken, here I stand alone
Wondering what were the last words I said to you
It won't be long, we'll meet again

What would I give to behold
The smile, the face of love?
You never left me
The rising sun will always speak your name

It won't be long, we'll meet again
Your memory is never passing
It won't be long, we'll meet again
My love for you is everlasting

I mourn for those who never knew you

It won't be long, we'll meet again
Your memory is never passing
It won't be long, we'll meet again
My love for you is everlasting

zWhat is lifes anywau?

Wed, 22 Sep 2004 01:21:08 GMT

Ok so i dont feel great and bridget was right i wshould have went home. had to chase people today which means going to their homes and in the process a fuckin lazy ass bee stung me and i am allergic and i dont feel good and i work after that case i didnt wanna drive home so i drive hme and talk to people on the way cause im like tired and very sore and body feels like blah and now i look up shit on the net and see stuff that i dont wanna see deali with stings and i am tired. sleep is sounding good so im going to do it cause i feel kinda light headed and this is weird i dont really know what more to talk about umm i want that studio apartment still ad im going to bed now.

bees can suk my as.

MUWAHAHAHA

Sun, 01 Aug 2004 17:30:52 GMT

Some pics taken recently of random objects:

New Vehicle:

Kitty:

Tired of naming them all:

That's all?

O_O

Tue, 27 Jul 2004 03:53:43 GMT

Stole from teh ros.

*The \\*
Last Cigarette:	10 years ago...
Last Alcoholic Drink:	10 years!
Last Car Ride:	On my way home from work
Last Kiss:	Abi, on the cheek ^^
Last Good Cry:	Hmmm
Last Library Book:	O_O oh shit! Last august..um..its in my car..
Last book bought:	all of Raymond E. Feists..^^;;
Last Book Read:	Rage of a Demon King
Last Movie Seen in Theatres:	Hmm... what was that..umm...Spiderman 2!
Last Movie Rented:	Hellboy
Last Cuss Word Uttered:	Shit
Last Beverage Drank:	CherryLimeade
Last Food Consumed:	spehgetti o's
Last Crush:	Hade ^_^
Last Phone Call:	::growls::
Last TV Show Watched:	O_o..can't remember
Last Time Showered:	This morning
Last Shoes Worn:	My dress boots
Last CD Played:	Misc Mp3s I burned this morning.
Last Item Bought:	Sandwhich at lunch ^^
Last Download:	A song
Last Annoyance:	::growls more::
Last Disappointment:	Not waking up in another country
Last Soda Drank:	Dr. Pepper
Last Thing Written:	Account numbers
Last Key Used:	tab
Last Words Spoken:	'bye!'
Last Sleep:	last night
Last Ice Cream Eaten:	Dunno..
Last Chair Sat In:	The one I'm in?
Last Webpage Visited:	LJ..duh..
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~*Dreams from Ashes*~